Be Still

Honestly... right now my life is in shambles. God gives and he takes away... but then He just gives again. Right now everything is in transition. It's like I am not allowed to move forward but I am not allowed to stay back with the old gang. I don't have a place to belong. Right now I can do nothing. I am powerless to get what I need. There is nothing I can do.

Earlier today I was throwing a fit about this. I don't like not being in control. I was lashing out at God asking, "Why arn't you providing!?!" Then in the middle of my three-year-old temper tantrum God smacked me in the face with two truths.

The first: Does any of this sound fammiliar? This same time of year three years ago I was yelling these same things. I had moved completely across the country. I had no friends, nothing to belong to or be a part of. I was throwing a fit and God completly provided. Three years later my life in Sanpete had become the best part of life I had known. Full of family, friends, and everything was always taken care of. I was blessed with deep relationships which I can only pray do not go away with time. God is good. His timing may not make sense but it is always perfect. Once this truth sank in another one just slammed me to the ground.

The second: SHUT UP! I mean honestly, Torri, just be quiet. How loud can you get. How is all that yelling going to help. Throwing a temper tantrum is not going to help. I know that you are hurting. I know that it is killing you that you arn't in control. I know that right now you think you are completely alone in the world. But just be quiet. I even opened up my Bible and read 1 Timothy 2:11, "A woman should learn in silence with full submission" (I have no desire to get into the women and speaking/leadership debate. God just used this verse to smack me into reality) That reminded me of the Steven Curtis Chapman song "Be still and know" which reminded me of the verse Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted among the earth." Which lead me to Zephaniah 3:17. "Yahweh your God is among you, a warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will quiet you with His love. He will delight in you with shouts of joy."

My favorite part of Zephaniah 3:17 is "He wil quiet you with His love." I was sitting there SCREAMING at God and he was just quieting me with His love. He is doing the talking for me. He is delighingting over me with shouts of joy. I don't need to talk. I just wanted to end this post with the lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's song:

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is Holy
Be still, O restless soul of mine
Bow before the Prince of Peace
Let the noise and clamor cease

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is faithful
Consider all that He has done
Stand in awe and be amazed
and know that He will never change
Be still

Be still and know that He is GOd
Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is God

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is our Father
Come rest your head upon his breast
Listen to the rhythm of his unfailing heart of love
Beating for his little ones
Calling each one of us to come
Be still, Be Still

Be still, Be speechless